c > 


life  mrushin&  co- 


A LITTLE  BIRD 
T 0 Ld  MET 


WALT 


tfVHMI 


A Little  Bird  Told  Me! 


A Little  Bird 
Told  Me ! 


Pictures  and  Text 
by 

WALT  KUHN 


NEW  YORK 

LIFE  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 
1908 


Copy  rig  hi,  1906 

LIFE  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 


British  copyright  secured 
All  rights  reserved 


The  Preface 


“How  funny!  One  drink  from  this  bubbling 
spring  has  made  me  feel  like  a nestling.” 


. “ I say,  waiter,  can  I have  some  tabasco 
sauce  with  these  worms?” 

“No,  but  I can  bring  you  a few  fire- 
flies!” 


9 


I 


“ Be  patient,  dear  I Breakfast  will  be  up 
in  a minute.” 


11 


“ Bet  you  ten  bird-seeds  the  big  one  gets  around 
first.” 


13 


Dispossessed ! 


15 


“ Where  are  you  going.  Bill  ? ” 

“ I’m  about  to  pawn  my  winter  plumage ! ” 


I should  have  known  better  than  to  deposit 
my  eggs  in  a bank.” 


17 


“Yes,  my  man,  I’ll  give  you  a worm  if  you’ll  gather 
some  twigs  for  the  fire.” 


% 


“I  thought  you  said  that  Bill  was  in  Chi- 
cago?” 

“ Yes ; but  he  beat  his  way  east  on  a flying- 
machine.” 


ID 


“ What  a queer  voice  that  bird  has.” 
“ It’s  his  German  accent.’ 


21 


“Great  Scott!  Don’t  you  know  it’s  dangerous  to  eat 
pins  ? ” 

“Oh ! But  these  are  safety  pins.” 


23 


Mrs.  Bird:  The  idea  of  you  being  jealous  of  such 
a bird  as  that! 


The  bird  on  the  twig  : No  use  talking; 
that  mocking  bird  is  a wonder. 

25 


s 


Mrs  Bird  : Come  away  there,  you  old  reprobate  1 


Everybody  happy  l 


kHey,  you  mollycoddle ! 
29 


M The  water  over  in  the  brook  is  much  better- 
it  has  bugs  in  it.” 


31 


“In  what  circus  did  you  acquire  all  this  acrobatic  skill?” 
“Never  saw  a circus— this  runs  in  the  family.” 


“My!  that  egg  must  have  been  laid  by 
gome  bird  from  the  tropics.” 


“Ha,  ha!  That  is  funny!  Stepmother 
says  to  keep  away  from  the  water,  or  we 
might  get  our  feet  wet.” 


35 


37 


‘I  always  did  admire  tall  men !’ 


“ That  settles  it  I No  more  gas  bills  to  pay.” 


“Say,  Bill— how  do  I look  in  a derby?  ” 


41 


WStAt-T  KvjWN 


“I  fear  that  you  will  spend  the  rest  of  your  days  behind  the 
bars.” 

“And  I have  a premonition  that  you  will  lose  your  head  on 
the  block.” 


AT  TIIE  POULTRY  MASQUERADE 
He  : Why  in  the  world  are  you  wearing  those 
rubber  overshoes? 

She  : Sh — , I’m  disguised  as  a duck  ! 


43 


“Say,  brother,  I’m  afraid  grub  is  going  up 


Bird  Highwayman  : I tell  you,  Bill,  I’d 
hold  him  up  in  a minute  if  I wasn’t  afraid  of 
his  gun. 


“ Hurry  up,  fellows  1 Come  and  look  at 
the  moving  pictures.” 


47 


“There’s  no  use,  my  dear  leghorn.  I don’t  think 
you’ll  ever  learn  to  swim.” 


49 


“ Hey,  mister ! Hitch  behind  I ** 


51 


The  Rooster:  I know,  my  dear,  that 
comparisons  are  odious,  but  I simply 
wanted  you  to  see  what  other  folks  are 
doing. 


“Yes,  she  laid  it  there  for  safe  keeping 
and  now  she  wonders  'how  she’ll  hatch  it 
out.” 


53 


55 


“ Curses  on  the  luck  I I 
must  get  this  valentine 
off  to  Mirabella,  and 
there’s  my  hated  rival 
sitting  on  the  letterbox.” 


57 


THE  FERRIS  WHEEL  ON  THE  FOURTH 
“Start  her  up,  engineer;  all  hands  are  on  board.” 


“Don’t  come  near  me, 
Bill.  I just  ate  some  tor- 
pedoes and  the  least  jar 
may  explode  them  I ” 


59 


G1 


“Isn’t  he  the  puffed-up  thing?” 
“Yes,  all  his  family  are  that  way.” 


7 

Mrs.  Whitewing  : I told  you  not  to  fly  over  Pittsburg ! 


63 


“What’s  the  matter  with  those  birds?” 

“They  belong  to  a secret  organization  and  are  exchanging  the 
countersign.” 


65 


I 


“There’s  that  disgusting  old  Mr.  Masher,  who’s 
always  hanging  around  the  flatiron  !” 

67 


V 


“This  must  be  a prize — I’ve  always  heard  that 
collar  buttons  are  so  hard  to  find.” 


\ 

\ 


The  Little  One:  Do  you  believe  in  polygamy? 
The  Big  One  : Yes,  but  you  mustn’t ! 

69 


“Gee,  but  I*m  glad  I didn't  take  out  a lease  on 
this  place.” 


% 


71 


Lazy  Dick  : My— but  it’s  getting  cold ! Now  I 
don’t  know  whether  to  put  down  my  ear  muffs 
or  fly  to  Florida ! % 


“Always  my  luck.  Not  a single  worm 
in  it.’* 

73 


“Well,  how  do  you  like  your  new  home?” 

“ First  rate.  T only  fear  that  we’ll  have  to  move  by 
the  Fourth  of  July.” 


AMBITIOUS 

“ Set  the  match  to  it,  Bill,  and  I’ll  show 
these  other  birds  that  I can  fly  as  high  as 
any  of  them  I” 

75 


/ 


“Look  here,  umpire,  you  must  bar  that  flamingo  from  the  game.  He 
covers  two  bases  at  the  same  time !” 


77 


AFTER  THE  RAIN 
“ Great  Scott  1 I thought  I lived  on 
the  ground  floor.” 


“I  wonder  what  queer  Irish  bird  laid 
these  green  eggs.” 

79 


Spring  has  come(?) 


“This  park  is  beautiful,  I admit,  hut  I 
don’t  think  that  the  statuary  is  permanent.” 


St 


“Well,  well— this  must  be  a meeting  of  the 
aero  club  I ” 


A MATERIALIST 

“ Can  you  pick  me  out  one  with  bird  seed  in  it?” 


83 


* 


“I  see  you  got  your  washing  out 
early  this  morning  !” 


85 


The  Canary  : How  immodest  to  bathe 
out  in  public  in  this  manner ! 


“ Why  are  you  sporting  such  a get-up  ? ” 

“ Oh,  I’m  tired  of  always  wearing  black  ! ” 


87 


“Oh,  hubby,  look  ! Baby  has  just  got  Its  first 
feather ! ” 


89 


Sparrow  : It’s  a shame  to  see  how  these  foreigners  get  all 
the  good  things  to  eat  and  we  natives  have  to  hustle  for 
ourselves  I 


The  Humming  Bird  : I say,  Mr.  Tree- 
toad,  when  does  this  place  open  up  ? I 
want  to  get  a drink. 


93 


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